There's Something About Potter
by tori-black
Summary: Dear Diary, I would like to state that I am horrible at keeping diaries. But this time's different. This diary is going to last longer than 1 entry. Because I'm being forced to do it. But that's not the point. Lily. R
1. Chapter 1

** During Divination, ****Friday, September 2nd, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I would like to state right now that I am horrible at keeping diaries. I have tried, many times, to keep a diary. I write in it once, and then I after that, or I just can't be bothered.

But this time's different. This time, someone's forcing me to do this. And that someone is Professor George. She's our Divination teacher. A firm believer of 'to know one's future, one must know oneself.'

So we have to keep these diaries, and write in them whenever we feel like it. But it has to be pretty regularly. And I'm going to force myself to do it. Also the fact the she's going to check we're actually writing stuff might have something to do with it.

I doubt I will ever let anyone read this, but on the small chance it is found in the old attic of one of my grandchildren, my name is Lily Evans.

And this is my story.

Sorry, I had to say that.

It's weird, talking to a blank piece of parchment. What am I supposed to do, tell you my deepest secrets?

I'm sorry, it's too weird. But I'll try. I warn you though, my deepest secrets are very boring. I have no secret brothers or sisters, I am not an orphan who is actually a princess, I am not secretly abused by my parents in any way, I have never slept with, or even talked to, anyone famous. I have no secret children. I am, however chewing Drooble's Best Blowing Gum at the moment, and would probably get a detention if I'm caught. That's one of my biggest secrets. If you get bored easily, it's not too late. YOU CAN STILL GET OUT NOW, BEFORE YOU'VE READ TOO MUCH!

Ok, my name is Lily Evans. And I'm Head Girl at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If you, at this point, are thinking I should enrol myself in a mental hospital, you should probably stop reading. Or I'm breaking the International Sorcerer's Code of Secrecy or something. 

SO STOP READING!

You're still reading, aren't you? I wouldn't stop either, just coz I said to. But don't tell anyone about what you're about to read. Or they'll send you to a mental hospital.

If you know exactly what I'm talking about when I say Hogwarts, good. You have a small chance of understanding what goes on inside my head. If you have no idea, I'm not going to explain everything, I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ ON!

Ok, I'm Lily Evans, 17, Head Girl. I was born on the 13th of November, 1960, so I'm a Scorpio. Just so you know.

I love: Banana Ice-cream, Charms, my owl Wednesday, and presents.

I hate: Transfiguration, my sister Petunia, carrots, my freckles, the colour orange (for the record my hair is auburn), Mondays and, on occasion, I hate James Potter.

Professor George just told us we had to review last years work now so…bye I guess.

Lily

**During Advanced History of Magic, Friday, ****September 2nd, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I'm bored. So I was debating writing a note to one of my friends, but I realised I might as well write in here. Actually, I think that's what I'm always going to do. I'll write in this in HoM. Ok, I have a plan. I am going to keep this diary for more than one day. I am!

I don't know what to write about. We got to school on September 1st. That was yesterday, so we had to start classes straightaway. I haven't even had time to shout at James yet.

I suppose you're wondering why I occasionally hate him, but also kind of talk about him as a friend. He is a friend…sort of. He likes me, and I wish he didn't. It would make life much simpler.

We get along well when he's not:

terrorising small children terrorising anyone really hitting on me 

Other than that, he's a great guy. Smart, funny, nice (usually - except when he's doing one of the things on the above list) (he is getting better - slowly) and he's good-looking.

HE gets a bit egotistical sometimes, but he does have half the school telling him how great he is 24/7, so that might have something to do with it.

Basically, we're friends, I think, but we fight a lot. We fought less last year then we did in previous years, and not once this year. Unless you count that time we ran into each other at Diagon Alley.  But that was kind of my fault. Wearing a midriff top and tight jeans around James Potter was just asking for it. But every time we fight, I forgive him pretty quickly (but only after I've had the fun of storming off, and sometimes I even slap him). You have to forgive James. He just has this way of apologising, and he grins this crooked grin at you, and it's so adorable, you can't be mad at him.

Wait, we also fought when he was telling the first years what they had to do for the sorting. Honestly, of course they won't have to fight a dragon. I couldn't even fight a dragon, and I'm the top witch in our year.

He's Head Boy, by the way, did I mention that?

I think HoM is finished now…

Lily

**During Advanced History of Magic, Tuesday, ****September 6th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

My last entry was practically all about Potter, wasn't it? I'm sorry he just invades my mind a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a crush on him. I wish he didn't like me, because he's a really good friend, he's always there for me, but it could never be more. Not with him. Not with James Potter. I'd never tell anyone, he could break my heart so easily if I let myself fall for him. And he would, not intentionally, but we fight so much, and say a lot of things we don't mean. He'd break my heart.

That was very deep and meaningful wasn't it?

But I am not obsessed with James Potter. Ok?

Hey, wait, Nat wants to talk to me about something. I doubt I'll be able to get back to this, so bye!

Lily

**At Night, In My Bed, ****Tuesday, September 6th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I just realised this is the longest I've ever kept a diary! YAY!

Feeling very, very proud of herself,

Lily

**Advanced History of Magic, ****Wednesday, September 7th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I'm not going to talk about James. This entry's going to be all about me.

Name: Lily Christina Evans

Age: 17

Birthday: 13/11/60

Starsign: Scorpio

Likes: Wait, I've already written all this stuff. Damn.

But I have a new hate: Advanced HoM. HoM was interesting when the Marauders were in my class, but they didn't take it. They said they thought about it, for extra sleep time, but James and Sirius want to be Aurors. 

I just mentioned James. That wasn't supposed to happen.

More about me:

I have a sister called Petunia. Horrible person. She's engaged to this horrible man, Vernon Dursley, who's just got a job at a drill factory. Exciting. I'm hoping they won't reproduce. That child will make the goblins Prof. Binns goes on about look gorgeous in comparison. I'm getting bad mental images so let's just get off that topic.

My best friend is called Nat, or Nathalia, but everyone calls her Nat. She's dating this Ravenclaw guy who's really nice, they've been together for almost a year now. Actually they broke up six months ago for two weeks, but they ignore that in the "we've almost been together for a whole year!" thing.

She's sitting next to me now, but I think she's asleep. There's a small puddle of drool on the desk under her mouth. Eww…

I'm gonna try and clean that up before anyone notices…

Lily

********

Ok so I shouldn't be starting another fic. So sue me. I haven't forgotten about the pther ones, I just have writers block. And when I have writers block I start new stories. that's the way my world works. I hope you like this story…

buh-bye

luv tori


	2. Chapter 2

**Just After Lunch, In the Library, ****Friday, September 9th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I am writing this now, not because it's HoM, which it's not, but because something BIG just happened. The whole school's talking about it. 

James is dating Caroline. She's in Hufflepuff, their seeker, and is almost as Quidditch obsessed as James. No-one could ever be as Quidditch obsessed as James, but she almost is. She's the captain of the Hufflepuff team too. Gryffindor play Hufflepuff at the beginning of next term, so we'll see what happens.

The reason this is such big news is because James hasn't dated anyone since 3rd year. It's not that nobody wanted to date him, they did. It's just that he didn't want to date them. Or something. I don't know. Nat says it's because of me. But what does she know?

Me and James had this huge fight yesterday. He was shouting, and I was shouting, and it was REALLY loud. I've completely forgotten why we're fighting. (he hasn't apologised for it yet, whatever it is)

We were screaming SO MUCH, and I can't even remember half of what I called him, or he called me. That's probably a good thing.

This is exactly why I could NEVER have a relationship with James.

But that doesn't matter now, because HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!

Everyone's wondering about my reaction. They won't talk about it, or even say "James" or "Caroline".

They don't seem to realise that I DON'T LIKE HIM! He's a friend, a good friend, and I hope he and Caroline are very happy together.

I don't have to prove I don't like him, because any idiot with half a brain cell could figure that out.

Lily

**During Advanced History of Magic, Friday, ****September 9th, 1977******

**Top 10 Reasons Why I Could Never Date James Potter**

**10.** Everyone knows he's in love with his broomstick. He needs a girlfriend who is equally in love with their broomstick. I don't own a broomstick.

**9.** Um, the whole fighting thing. Duh.

**8.** He likes pumpkin juice, and I hate it. We have like, completely conflicting interests.

**7.** He has pale skin, I have paler skin. Our children would never even have a chance to get a tan. They'd be tomatoes, like, all year round. Think about the children!!!

I would like to point out that I, Lily Christina Evans, have not, am not, and will not ever think about having children with James Potter.

**6.** He's tall, I'm short. I only come up to his chin, and that's with shoes on.

**5.** He's in detention practically every day. I've never gotten a detention in my life.

**4.** He and Nat went out for two weeks in 1st year. Dating him would break all rules of bestfriendship.

**3.** All the girls are in love with him, and all the guys are most definitely NOT in love with me. Auburn (yes, it's auburn, NOT ORANGE) hair, freakily bright green eyes, pale skin and freckles hardly equals every guys fantasy.

**2.** He has a girlfriend people!

**1. **I DON'T LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, this is Nat. I just stole this dairy from Lily, because she's stopped talking to me in HoM ever since she got this stupid thing. And I just read the above list. These are my answers:

**Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Date James Potter**

**10.** He's in love with you, Lily, duh, not his broom. (Although I think the broom comes a close second)

**9.** Everyone needs to have fights sometimes so they can make up (or out).

**8.** Um, pumpkin juice is so not relevant.

**7.** You are so thinking about James and children with James and therefore SEX with James. Aren't you Lily?

**6. **The height difference makes you two so cute together!

**5.** Everybody knows the bad boy and the good girl have to get together.

**4.** Lily, we were 11. 11!!! We never kissed, not even on the cheek. We held hand a total of ONCE! IT WAS NOT A RELATIONSHIP! YOU WOULD NOT BE BREAKING THE RULES OF BESTFRIENDSHIP!

**3.** You're pretty Lily! You have cool eyes. Mine are brown. BROWN! And you're James's fantasy…

**2.** They're so going to break up.  He was staring at you in Charms yesterday.

**1. **WAKE UP AND SMELL THE DUNGBOMBS, YOU ARE COMPLETELY HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!

**Right After I Got My Diary Back, During Advanced History of Magic, ****Friday, September 9th, 1977******

Dear Diary, and anyone else who is reading this,

Please ignore the above list (the one by Nat), it was written by a psychopath who knows nothing, and it will look too messy if I scribble it out.

You should put a memory charm on yourself A.S.A.P. if you have already read it.

If you stuff up the memory charm, it's your own fault.

Why?

BECAUSE YOU WERE READING MY DIARY, YOU CRAZY, PRIVACY-INVADING FREAK!

Now that's out pf my system…

Lily

And the memory charm incantation is 'Obliviate'. Just in case you, you know, get the urge to use a memory charm for some reason or other.

**During Advanced History of Magic, Friday, ****September 9th, 1977******

This is Nat again. Lily, did it ever occur to you to apologise to James? Like maybe it was your fault.

**After Once Again Taking My Diary Back From The Diary Stealing Thief, During Advanced History of Magic, ****Friday, September 9th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

Ignore what Nat just said.

It's Potter we're talking about. Of course it's his fault. He is always the one that does things wrong, not me. HIM. 

HE terrorises little kids,

HE bullies people

HE hits on me

Ok? HE has to apologise

He always does, because it's always his fault when we fight. Remember?

That's the way it's has always worked, and it's a perfectly good system.

Lily

**During Advanced History of Magic, Friday, ****September 9th, 1977******

Nat's not even going to comment.

**In My Bed (I'm Really Bored), Saturday, ****September 10th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

James and I are still fighting from Thursday. He must be really mad at me, because he usually comes up and apologies to me on one knee, with lots of big words and compliments, and, if it was a really big fight, flowers. He can be really sweet when he tries.

Maybe I said something really, really bad, and he remembered it?

But he knows nothing we say in those fights means anything.

Or, maybe he's too busy with Caroline, and he's forgotten about me.

That's absolutely what it is.

He's too busy with Caroline.

This better mean he's stopped liking me. Coz we're much better just as friends.

You know, after he apologises.

Lily

***********

You Like? 

Btw, if you haven't already, you should read my fic 'The Object Of His Affection', because out of all my fics (there are 7, two are finished…those two are one shots), 'The Object Of His Affection' is my favourite, it's my baby, ok?

answers to reviews…

**Dearc**** Aillse: Thanks, that's a very cool entry, I agree with you. this is based on me, I've always wanted to keep a diary, but never keep more ten one entry, and I wish someone was forcing me to do it. I'll update my other stories, soon. Promise.**

**Tribal Leader: **Thanks…I think the title's cute too. I read your story, it's really good, but I said that in a review. Ok?

**Paruety**** Redal: I love it when people think my work is funny, thanks.**

**Chocolate Taco: **Of course that's what friends are for. Everyone knows that. I'll write more.

**Laura: **I have no idea where this story is going. It has no plot, no timeline, so I have no idea how long it'll take Lily to realise she likes James. I wrote the first chapter on the bus coz I was bored.

**loser-me-ushi: **Thanks, I said this to someone else, but it's kinda based on me, and my complete inability to keep a diary for more then 2 days, and my eternal hope that someone, someday (preferably soon), will force me to keep one.

**CrazyStarz****: Are you feeling ok? Do you, you know, have a temperature or something? Thanks…bye**

**Willow23: **Thank you, that's so nice! on the whole, I'd rather never have writers block though.


	3. Chapter 3

**During Lunch, ****Monday, September 12th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

Today is something practically unheard of. It's so practically unheard of that I'm documenting this during lunch, when I normally have other things I'd rather be doing, ie. eating, but this is so colossally rare.

I am having a good Monday.

This is extremely surprising, because I don't think I've ever had a good Monday. All bad things happen on Mondays. It's like the gods get together and cram all the crap stuff into one day. Mondays.

But today is going wonderfully. 

The pumpkin juice at breakfast was replaced with nice, ordinary orange juice. Let's hope it's a permanent change. It'd be too much to hope for that they get rid of the pumpkin pasties.

I had the best pancake _ever _for breakfast, with lots of maple syrup. 

The first class, Potions, was taken by Professor Winters, because Professor Hawke was sick, so we got to make whatever potion we liked. 

In Charms, we got to go over Hilarity Charms, which are _so fun. They make you think that the lamest joke is hilarious. ie._

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: I don't know, I'm a duck!

and…

Q. What's a Shih-Tzu?

A: A zoo with no animals!

Ok, they sounded much funnier under the charm. 

In conclusion, I'M ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD MONDAY!

Lily

And I bet James apologises today.

**During  Double**** Transfig., ****Monday, September 12th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

We get to be changed into the animal of our choice for this entire double!

This is so cool.

I'm going to be lion cub. I got the idea from the Gryffindor symbol and all, and it just sounded so much more fun to be a cub then a fully grown one.

Lily

**Um, yeah why does Lily always write where she is at the start of every entry? That's just weird, Lil. But, so Lily will stop glaring at me, I'm on the grass next to the lake, and, after seeing Lily write in this ALL THE TIME, I decided it is enchanted and had to check it out to ensure her safety. I read it, and the book's safe, but as for Lily's psychological wellbeing, I have no idea. It's still Sunday…And yes, Lil, I do know long words like "psychological wellbeing". **

This is Sirius, by the way.

And maybe Lily should try and think really hard about whether she shouted anything during The Fight which may have greatly offended James.

Basically, maybe you should try apologising to him!

For once!

(Just so you know, James isn't going to apologise, because YOU SAID SOMETHING REALLY BAD)

Meaning, it's your turn to apologise.

And you have serious denial issues.

And, couldn't you just make your children use sun-protection charms? Or at the very least make them wear a hat?

I LIKE PUMPKIN JUICE!

Sirius

P.S. APOLOGISE TO JAMES!

P.P.S. YOUR WRITING IS REALLY MESSY! ****

**After Taking Back My Diary From Yet Another Evil Person Bent On Invading My Privacy, By The ****Lake****, ****Monday, September 12th, 1977****.**

Dear Diary,

My writing is so not messy.

I don't have to apologise to James, because whatever I apparently said, it was probably because he antagonized me into saying it, making it HIS FAULT!

I have no denial issues, thank you very much.

Hello, hats are totally ugly. And they wouldn't be able to use sun-protection charms until they learnt them, which was 3rd year!

 PUMPKIN JUICE IS DISGUSTING!

Anything containing even a hint of pumpkin in it is disgusting. Pumpkins should forever be banned from civilised society. Why don't people realise this?

Hating pumpkins, and anything pumpkin-related,

Lily

I AM NOT GOING TO LET SIRIUS BLACK RUIN MY MONDAY!  
IT"S STILL A GOOD MONDAY!

**Hiding In A Broom Closet Outside The Great Hall, Just After Dinner, ****Monday, September 12th, 1977******

Dear Diary, The person that was previously known to me as James, James Potter, or just Potter, shall from now onwards be known as HIM, HE, or IT. (capitalised so you can tell the difference between other, hes, hims and its.'

This is because of THE THING HE DID (which will be abbreviated as TTHD), and THE THING HE SHOULD HAVE DONE FIVE DAYS AGO AND STILL HASN'T DONE (TTHSHDFDAASHD).

He might also be occasionally referred to as THAT COMPLETELY HOPELESS BASTARD WHO IS A WASTE OF OXYGEN AND DOES NOT EVEN DESERVE A GRAVESTONE WHEN HE DIES (TCHBWIAWOOADNEDAGWHD)

Actually, that might be a bit long.

I would also like to point out that Caroline is a _bitch._

They had pumpkin juice at the dinner table.

I never liked Mondays.

Lily

*******************

Sorry, I know this chapter is really short, but it had to be just Monday.

The next one will be longer, I promise.

And there is a lesson to be learned from this chapter

ok…

**Dutch Lily Flower: **Thanks! I read your story and it's really. good.

**forbiddenlove****: Thanks! It's my story that I write whenever I'm on the bus, actually.**

**Laura: Sorry, I really don't have any idea where this is going. Thanks…**

**faith****enter the matrix: I've read fics with Lily's diary before. thanks. you reviewed so many of my stories!**

**Chocolate Taco: **I have never even got to the point in a journal where I have 20 pages left, so you're good at it. I have no idea what my friends would do if I was drooling on a desk…I've never fallen asleep in class before. I know this kid in yr 7, Steve, who fell asleep during a science test.

**Faith456: **Thanks. and L/J fics are the best, everyone should read them.

**Paruety**** Redal: I'm writing a chapter, and I haven't written in a diary. I should, but I'll survive.**

**Guard_Girl****: Actually, I hadn't heard that thing about the nile river. It's strange…**

**yeen****: thanks, this story is my random one where basically anything I think of happens because I haven't thought of a plot or anything for it yet.**

**BastsCleopatra****: Thanks! That's a lot of exclamation marks there!**

**Kellie: **Thanks so much!

**Mary-Kate:** I think writer's block is going to happen. writers block always happens…

**heather12345: **I know Lily is jealous, and Nat had to steal the diary, because everyone had to know that it's really Lily's fault, and she has to apologise.

**CrystalBallerina****: Nobody can abuse the right to use exclamation points. One can never have enough exclamation points.**

**CrazyStarz****: I'll say whatever I want, thanks. don't say really so much. I stole the idea for the lists.**

**Jazlyn****: Yes, Lily's absolutely, completely in denial.**

**someone****: sam, right? ur the only one who says hu. I got both ur revies if u r sam. a Friday night. congrats.**


	4. Chapter 4

**In The Middle Of The Night, Not Sure If It's Monday Or Tuesday, September 12th or 13th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

OH MY GOD! **_OH MY GAWD!_**

I know what James is pissed about. OK, I was sleeping, right? And then something woke me up, but I had no idea what. And then – I remembered.

Ok, people always talk about these middle of the night revelations, _but I've never actually had one before_. It's like the falling dream, or the being-naked-in-public dream. Everyone says they're really common, but I've never had one of those either.

But anyway,

It all makes sense now. Everything does. Ok, not everything. But lots of things to do with James, and him not apologising.

Ok, I don't remember what led up to me saying what I said, but I remember saying it. Word for word. I think it's word for word anyway. Obviously, I have nothing to compare it to, but you know, whatever.

Ok, here's what I said:

"God, Potter, what is _wrong_ with you? Don't you realise how pathetic you are? You're following around this girl who will _never_ like you. OK? _NEVER! It's honestly __miserable that is? You're so sad, can't you just realise it's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! MOVE ON! But you can't even do that can you? NO, because you're so sure that I'm going to like you eventually because _everyone_ likes you, don't they? Well, guess what, Potter? I don't like you. I never have, and I never will! You're the most pathetic person I have ever, ever met."_

That's what I said. And it was in this horrible tone of voice which made it a million times worse then what it looks like on paper.

AND I'm being haunted by like this horrible vision of James's face, and it's so bad, he just looks SO HURT.

I mean, I always figured he had like some stupid crush, but he looked so…defeated. Like his whole world had just collapsed or something.

I AM SUCH A COMPLETELY HORRIBLE PERSON! I AM THE MOST HORRIBLE PERSON I KNOW!

This is so bad.

I'm going to have to apologise.

Oh, my god.

I have no idea how to apologise. James is so good at it, and I don't think I've ever apologised properly in my life.

Crap.

Lily

**5 Minutes After Last Entry, Still Not Sure If It's Monday Or Tuesday, September 12th or 13th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Why did nobody tell me I had done something that bad? Ok, they dropped hints, but they were the stupidest hints in like, the history of man.

How is anyone supposed to get anything from "YOU SHOULD APOLOGISE TO JAMES! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU HAVE TO SAY SORRY! YOU WRECKED EVERYTHING!" blah, blah , blah.

Hello, haven't they ever heard of constructive criticism? 

I still have no idea how to apologise.

I heard someone say that making lists help. I should make a list.

Ok.

**THINGS TO DO**

**1.** Apologise to James

**2. **Learn how to apologise

**3.** That icky potions essay

**4.** Ask Sirius how I should apologise to James

**5.** Ask friends how I should apologise to James in a way that doesn't (as Sirius will suggest) entail use of whipped cream, suggestive underwear, sexual favours, or anything that might come out of Sirius's mouth

**6.** Hit Sirius over head for suggesting such stupid ideas.

**7.** Hit self over head for ever thinking of taking any of Sirius's ideas seriously

**8. **Stop stereotyping people and actually listen to what Sirius might say, it could be intelligent

**9.** Stop making people out to be better then they are, It's _Sirius._

**10. **Find something to stop whoever it is in my dorm that's snoring from doing so.

**11. **Learn how to focus any not get sidetracked by irrelevant issues when trying to write lists.

This is stupid, lists don't help, who came up with that idea anyway?

Lily

**5 Minutes After That, And I'm Still Not Sure If It's Monday Or Tuesday, September 12th or 13th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Maybe, if I get this apologising thing right, James will break up with Caroline, who is a bitch.

I mean, she totally stood up for James during That Thing He Did. Wait, I'm supposed to abbreviate that. Ok, she totally stood up for James during TTHD.

Wait, with this new information revealed to me during my sleep, you know, about what I said, he was right to be pissed off.

And I guess she is his girlfriend, so she kind of has to support him. Right?

Ok, she's not a bitch. Except for her Quidditch fanatication. Yes, that's a word. Ok, maybe it's not, BUT IT SHOULD BE!!!!!!!!

Wait, James is a Quidditch fanatic as well.

Once again, crap.

Lily

**Look, It's 5 Minutes Later Again, And I Still Don't Know What Day It Is! Ok?**

Dear Diary,

I'm so screwed. That is my latest revelation tonight. Tonight is a night full of revelations. I have a HoM test tomorrow or today, and hopefully I will have a revelation halfway through with all the answers, seeing how I wasn't listening what with writing in here.

Anyway, I am so screwed.

I have no idea how to apologise.

And if Sirius's ideas are going to work, I might have to resort to them.

Lily

**In The Morning, Considerably Saner, Tuesday, September13th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Something happened last night which would only ever happen under severely sleep deprived circumstances.

I seriously thought about taking the advice of Sirius Black.

I'd like to apologise for anyone who is severely worried about my state of mental health. 

I'm fine now.

Everything will work out.

Ok.

I'll apologise to James, in a nice, normal fashion, and _he'll apologise for TTHD, and everything will be good._

And he'll have Caroline so he won't like me anymore.

It's all good.

Ok. 

Lily

***********

New chap! For you Alison!

'The Tale of Morwen, Her Lord Haldir and His Quest' by morwenelhina is really weird but quite cool and you should all read it (its LoTR)

answering reviews….

**blondelily****: Thank you, those two are my favourite stories too.**

**Chocolate Taco: **abbreviations are still cool, no matter what. on my birthday, I will be in the middle of the bush, not had a shower for 6 days, carrying camping supplies last for 10 days on my back, and walking many kilometres to where we're going to sleep that night. Year 9 camp…just kill me now. It'd be kinder…

**Willow23: **The abbreviations do rock quite a lot. They turned out to be a lot longer then I originally thought. Sirius is cool, so yeah. And what's wrong with Natalie? My real name's Victoria. I love P.S.'s, don't worry. AND U RULE TOO!!!!!!!!

**electra*********27: sam, I'm tired, I'm in a hurry, this is ur reply, deal with it, luv u, tori**

**meredythe****: sorry I didn't update that soon, but what are you doing getting up at 4:30 in the morning? Are you ok? Delusional maybe? Because you can go to a doctor you know. They have cures.**

**Paruety**** Redal: Everyday? Um, I don't think so. I get on a roll, and trust me, it soon runs out.**

**Faith456: **Thanks, I love making people laugh. that's so cool.

**Star19: **Thank you, you would know what Lily says by now…

**GlitzyDancingShoes****: The story you read was feeling sorry for Arabella probably, coz I've read that one, I think it's based on this book called feeling sorry for celia, which is a really, really, good book. I know she needs to apologise, and she finally figured it out too.**

**gryffindorgirl25: **Thanks, I love reading diaries, but I could never find one I really liked, so I wrote my own, which doesn't really solve it much because I know exactly what's going to happen before it does, so yeah. 

**JerseyGirl03: **Thanks, I like this story. It's the first one of my stories where I actually started out with the intention for it to be humorous, but on all my stories everyone said they were funny and I was like….oh, they weren't meant to be that funny.

**Mary-Kate: **I'm sorry, but I'm a control freak and could never, ever let anyone write my stories for me. *sigh* it's a horrible character fault…

**flying-piggy-123****: Thanks! Maybe one day Lily will actually get around to apologising.**

**faith****enter the matrix: Thanks, I love people reading my other stories, that's really cool, and thanks for all the reviews. If you had stories, I'd review them…****Ruth3: yeah, you now know what Lily said to James…that's the problem with answering reviews at the end of the chapter…**CrazyStarz******: Thank you very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much. Lol. Hey, you did it to me…****misskittyfantastico12889: Thanks, I love diary stories, so I decided to write my own…as everyone can see…**micki******: OK!****heather12345: sorry if it doesn't make sense, hopefully it starts to, but yeah, it's all going to be in diary entries. **

**Quack Quack 88P: **I love your penname! It's so cool! I explained it a bit in this chapter, but I'll get more into it, I think

**Missy: **Hey, I don't mind people reading all my stuff…it's cool. Except some of the earlier stuff embarrasses me a bit (a lot) Of course she's in denial. Everyone is about something aren't they? 

**sting-23****: Lily babbles quite a lot, so that's good if you like that…**

**Elhina****: I have nothing against flying frogs! Did I say I had something against flying frogs? If I did, I'm most grievously sorry, indeed I am.**

**Guard_Girl****: Ok, I've heard of The Nile as in the river, but not when it's used in the denial sense…do you know what I mean? I hope so…thanks!**

luv you all…if you review you get to be on a nice pretty list (see above)

So, REVIEW

tori


	5. Chapter 5

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the lady who lives at number 3 on my street. She gave me free maltesers...mmm…I'd like to not dedicate it to my little sister who ate my maltesers and had to give me some more.**

**During Advanced History Of Magic, Tuesday, ****September 13th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

There are many steps to the perfect apology. I am up to boosting my self confidence. I will proceed to write out 'I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven.' Ok, that's once.

I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. 'I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. 

Ok, so bored. Time for new mantra.

No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. 

So need a new mantra.

You know what, 54 times is pretty good. Who really needs 100? And what is so special about 100 anyway? I, personally, like 54. 54 is the new 100.

Ok, all psyched up. Going to apologise to James. I have a practice conversation all worked out.

Me: Hi James!

James: Oh, hey Lils, what's up?

Me: Actually I just wanted to apologise for what I said.

James: No, I should be the one to apologise, seeing as how I embarrassed you, especially that time in Charms when you really needed my help and were currently unaware that I was mad at you.

Me: I call that The Thing You Did.

James: Well, I'm really, really sorry and I should take you shopping to make up for it.

Me: I couldn't let you.

James: I insist. I'll buy you anything you want from Hogsmeade.

Me: Thanks James!

James: Anything for you Lily.

See? It all works out.

_Nat would like to point out that Lily is being phenomenally unrealistic._

Nat, It's my diary, MINE, meaning I write in it.

_Lily, have you read that conversation? James isn't going to magically forgive you, ok?_

Of course he will.

_No, he won't. He's really hurt. He even started dating another girl._

Hello, that's a good thing.

_Will you stop living in denial? Please?_

I AM NOT IN DENIAL!

_Personally, I think you should listen to some of Sirius's ideas._

Are you crazy? Did you hear those ideas?

_Yes._

I am not going to offer to shower with James!

_I think you should._

NAT!  
_Well, he loves you, you love him…it's only natural Lily._

Nat, stop it. Just stop it.

_Apologise properly._

NO!

Wait, I am apologising properly.

_Yeah, right. Here he comes. And if you plan to use the previously mentioned conversation, how tall are you exactly?_

Yes, I am, and why?

_Just so we have the measurements to tell the guy who makes your coffin._

Hate you.

_Apologise._

**Later On During History Of Magic, ****Tuesday, September 13th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

My god, what is wrong with that boy? He didn't even let me get around to apologising! He came to borrow a quill off Nat! NAT! What about me, hmm? I was in such a state of complete and utter shock that I didn't even say "hi." I couldn't even say hi! That's it, I'm going over there. He has to talk to me.

Lily

**In The Girl's Bathroom, ****Tuesday, September 13th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I couldn't do it! I'm such a wimp. What about Gryffindor bravery? Coz you know, I'd really like to see some of that come into effect right about now.

He was just _there_, laughing with his friends, and he was so happy, and I just couldn't do it. Sirius asked me why I was standing there, and I just said "no reason" and left.

And then, _James _said something, which was apparently _really_ funny, because they all laughed at it, and I could just hear James and Caroline laughing about whatever it was, and it was _so bad._

And now I'm sitting on this toilet, crying, and the page is covered with tear stains, and I don't even know why it affected me so much.

It was just James.

I need something to distract me. I have to stop crying. Why can't I stop? The tears just keep coming and coming, and coming…

I'm going to read through this entire diary.

And maybe I'll laugh and feel better

Lily

**Still In The Girl's Bathroom, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

I read this, the whole thing. And you won't believe what I realised. Every single entry is about James. It's all about James. I hate his girlfriend for no real reason. It's obvious.

I'm in love with James Potter.

I'm in love with James Potter, who has a girlfriend, has forgotten about me, and makes jokes about me to his friends.

Crap.

Lily

**Honestly, Just Guess Where I Am, ****Tuesday, September 13th, 1977**

**Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Going To Die Young**

**10. **I'm left-handed. Everyone knows left-handers die younger then right handers.

**9.**Dehydration, because I refuse to drink pumpkin juice, and that's all this is around here!!!

**8.** I get sunburnt so easily, and will therefore die of skin cancer.

**7.** There's a spider web over there. The spider who owns it could come down at any time and bite me.

**6.** Stress, because everyone expects me to get amazing grades because I'm Head Girl. I would like to note that so far this year the Head Girl does nothing but trying to run away from the Head Boy, and vice versa.

**5.** Those bloody brooms everyone insists on flying. If they ever manage to get me one I'll fall to my death. I just know it.

**4.** Karma. I have faked sick to get out of many things, (flying lessons) and the rles of karma will strike back with a deadly disease.

**3.** Anthony Perkins. He is a complete perve, meaning all the girls have to cover themselves up all the time. I will die from overheating.

**2.** My sister Petunia. 

**1.** I am heartbroken. I don't think I will ever be able to bring myself to eat or drink enough. I will just waste away, knowing the boy I love loves another girl, one who I can never measure up to, and I could have prevented it, if only I had realised my feelings sooner.

**Right Back Where I Was, On The Toilet In The Girls Bathroom Near The History Of Magic Classroom, ****Tuesday, September 13th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I just went outside and James and Caroline were practically EATING each other RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!

And then McGonagall came along and took 10 point of each of them for PDA's.

And then I had the most embarrassing moment of my life. 

It's worse then that time when Sirius wanted to borrow a quill, and I told him there was one in my bag, and he found a box of tampons in there, and he and James started chucking to each other and teasing me, _in front of the whole common room._

But this time, Professor McGonagall looked over at me, and said. 'Miss Evans, did you want something?'

Then James and Caroline turned and looked at me with looks of shock on their faces. And I was looking back at them with a look of horror on _my_ face.

And when I remembered I had red puffy eyes, and mascara/tear stains, I'm positive my look of horror got worse.

I mean, I'd seen James kiss Caroline before, But I never cared, because I didn't know I was in love with him.

We were all frozen, I was staring at James, and he was staring at me, Caroline was staring at both of us, and McGonagall was waiting for something to happen.

People say windows are the eyes to the soul, and I don't know if it's just me, but I can't tell how people are feeling by looking into their eyes. Because I was looking straight into James's eyes and I don't know any more then I did before.

Then Sirius came out of nowhere, and said something, I don't know what, but it distracted everyone, and I ran back to this bathroom and locked myself in. Someone called out after me but I ignored them. 

I'm locked in here now, and I'm never going out there again.

Even if the spider who owns the spider web appears.

Lily

*************

There. I updated so ha, ali.

review, all of you. thanks, bye.

and sorry to everyone who asked, but it's going to be all diary entries and I'm not going to put anyone else's diaries in, they just make comments in Lily's when they feel like it.

ok

**BastsCleopatra****: Of course exclamation points make the world go round! How could anyone ever think otherwise?**

**JerseyGirl03: **So confused about the diploma thing.

**Willow23: **for the hay thing, the answer's one, right? Thanks for all you said.

**CrazyStarz****: Your name's mentioned in this chap too. ok? offend, offend, offend, I get it, I updated, happy?**

**Paruety**** Redal: If you're up to this bit in the chapter (the end) you know what happened next.**

**Ruth3: **yeah, I've read those books, and I got the diary idea from her, and the top 10 lists from another of her books, but I think it's ok coz everyone copies everyone else when they start writing.

**GlitzyDancingShoes****: I'm not sure that it would be an entirely successful marriage…lol…**

**Chocolate Taco: **lists aren't helpful! They scare you when you see how long they are, and how much hell you have to go through to get all the stuff on the list done. I know, my birthday's going to suck!

**Star19: **Aww, thank you so much.

**Bronach**** Saorla: Thanks, I'm sure if I kept a diary all my friends would steal it…sigh…**

**Guard_Girl****: No one I know has ever had the falling or naked dreams…I think they're made up by psychiatrists so we all think we're not normal and make appointments and give them heaps of money…sorry, just another one of my conspiracy theories…**
    
    **faith****enter the matrix: Thanks, the lists are so fun to write…**
    
    **Mayumi-8805: Wow, you've really read all of them? that's a lot off reading, thanks, really J**
    
    **yeen****: Thanks, I hope you like this chapter too…**
    
    **Quack Quack 88: Of course Lily likes James, everyone likes James!**
    
    **Day-Dreaming Rhiannon: Thanks, that's really cool of you.**
    
    **Pretty_Penguin****: Thanks, and of course you want to be on a pretty list, who wouldn't?**
    
    **Katie: I was reading it, yes, but I can't put James's diary in, because then everyone would know what he was thinking, and everyone's only supposed to know what Lily knows. Sorry.**
    
    **meredythe****: I go to school at Radford. It's in Belconnen, private school, blah, blah, blah.**
    
    **marauder**** **marion******: Only 10 mins? my parents call me for at least 30 before I come. The it's 'Victoria, would you like to heat up your dinner in the microwave.'. Um, no, mum, it's been half an hour. I'm bloody hungry. I'll eat it cold. Thanks.**
    
    **Chibi****-Cola: Aw, thanks, I love getting on people's fave lists, it's so cool. I'm glad I made you laugh.**
    
    **Faith456: Thanks so much, the lists are so fun.**
    
    **Laura: Yes, I know Sirius's advice is freaky, and I know that's so Sirius, and Sirius is very cool.**
    
    **crafty**** cat: Thanks, so many people have said they like the lists, it's very cool.**
    
    **Mary-Kate: Nuh-uh. Sorry.**
    
    **Lolly O'Neill: Thanks, but Lily's finally stopped being in denial! Yay! Now maybe this story can actually go somewhere.**
    
    **Melu**** Black: Thanks, I'm so happy you liked it.**
    
    **Sazinous****: I still think 'Rissa' is a bit weird…sorry…**
    
    **Tribal Leader: Thanks so much…**
    
    **electra*********27: Oh, I'm happy sam. So happy…**
    
    **sirius****: Oh, I'm sorry to make you wait, I hate waiting, but you're gonna have to wait some more because I have Year 9 camp on Wednesday so I'll be gone for 10 days…in the middle of the bush…without a computer, or pen, or paper…**
    
    **Pittsy****: thanks, I hope I can manage to keep this one interesting as it keeps going…I hope.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Paruety**** Redal: I know…what will she do….what did she do…you'll have to wait to find out!**

**Willow23:** I don't think I could turn it into a book, there's so many coptright things going on there, but I'm glad you liked it.

**GlitzyDancingShoes****: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a more suitable lover someday.**

**BastsCleopatra****: Sorry, it took so long to update, I was busy. Yes, she's not in denial, but I think she was happier…**

**Mahi****: Oh, wow, thank you. I'm glad u think all that stuff…I wasn't sure it all fitted in with the HP books myself, but…**

**JerseyGirl03:** If you say so

**razormouthrachel****: Thanks, I will. It's heaps of fun to write.**

**Honk4Weasley:** Um, thanks I love it too. Hope this fed your addiction a bit.

**Lila Bloom-Felton:** If your screen name refers to the actors, you have good taste in hot guys. ok?

**Faith456:** Like I would let her get off that easy. Sorry.

**Chocolate Taco:** You have a Ravenclaw uniform? They sell those? No, you know how memories get less and less embarrassing as time passes? That's why this moment was more mortifying than that one. I don't think showers are quite Lily's thing.

**porphyria****: Or else what? hmm?**

**Day-Dreaming Rhiannon:** And in this chapter there are 2 more lists! yay!

**Rebecca:** Thanks…I think

**Laura:** I don't think it would be that simple either.

**potential**** psychotic: I wrote this chap, and then I read your review, and it said to do what I did. I didn't even notice that!**

**flying-piggy-123****: when will lily get around to apologising?**

**SexxySiriusBlackChick5:** I personally don't understand what anyone would ever find appealing about pumpkin juice, or pumpkins for that matter. Where I live Halloween isn't really a big thing so I don't even like pumpkins coz of that. Also I had pumpkin soup once. So. Gross.

**Star19:** Wow, um, geez, thanks, glad you liked it.

**Kamala1:** You're English is really good. Thanks so much, and I think if James broke up with Caroline for Lily, Lily would think that he'd dump her too if a better girl came along.

**Sailor Sol:** Thanks…interesting in a good way, right?

**LauriAnn****: Oh, wow, thanks. Sirius gets to write more in this chappie!**

**mundungus** fletcher:** Yeah, I'm Australian, do I sound aussie then? yeah, I no it's kind of like Meg Cabot's stuff, but it's only writing for fun, so it doesn't really matter. I never deny that she came up with that style of writing. I'll tell everyone about Canberra again. CANBERRA IS THE CAPITAL CITY OF AUSTRALIA!**

**shadow**** angel6: Yeah, there are a couple of people at my school called Nat, that's where I got it from.**

**Melu**** Black: I love the lists too…they're so fun.**

**PRINCESS-WILDFIRE:** Hun, I don't even know what's going to happen.

**sam**:** thanks…J**

**Hollow Headed Hamster:** I love your pen name. And James can't read her diary yet, he's not allowed to know she likes him!

**alysia****(** aka: leelee): **Ok, ok!**

**Tribal Leader: **Thanks, I know it's cute.

**Angelic-Winkles:** I will…

**Lolly O'Neill:** I think we're all smart and stupid at times. I haven't read that book, but everyone tells me I should. only problem is it involves the word snogging, which I detest, but I use it in my story coz no-one outside Australia knows what pashing is!

**Ireland****: thanks…how many reviews did u give me?**

**queen_of_darkness****: glad u liked it. L/J stories are the best ones.**

**animaluva**:** I love being on people's faves…makes me all warm and fuzzy…lol…**

**Bronach**** Saorla: I have no idea what's going to happen in this story. this is the only one of my stories where I don't have a plan. **

**Smiley Pie:** Thanks, I like making people steal her diary.

**Laurentia****: I hope you're not too sad, it's supposed to be a pretty light-hearted story.**

**heather12345:** thanks, sorry it took a while to update.

**padma**:** I hope this chapter isn't what everyone expected to be like, I like surprising people.**

**CrazyStarz****: wow, long review. I loved camp, u no that perfectly well, ok? enjoy…**

**Dippy:** we all love Sirius. u gotta love Sirius.

**yeen**:** is caroline only a pawn? one of the big questions…**

**Disney_Luver****: Thanks, I'm glad u like it. I wrote more!**

**harryforeva****: Thanks. I think the behaviour with the tampons was quite odd, for James and Sirius. You should have seen the boys at camp, if we were packing and they wanted something, they'd stay as far away from the pads/tampons as possible. it was so funny!**

**elvencherry07:** yeah, I know, it's kind of copying…

**Quack Quack 88:** I'm sure she would have preferred to make that realisation on her bed….but oh well. too late now.

**sting-23****: laugh, don't cry, it's supposed to be funny.**

**AuroraRose1:** yeah, that was a little mistake…oops…I'll fix it one day.

**i** rock dude:** thanks, I like making people laugh, its heaps cool.**

**Elven**** Dagger: comments are fun, everyone should try writing like this, it's so fun. but they shouldn't, because then mine wouldn't be different!**

**CrystalBallerina****: thanks. I've never met anyone who had a falling/naked dream. I personally think it's a conspiracy…lol…:)**

**Glumfrog****: Fantabulous…that's a word. no, thanks very much, really.**

**Black Winged Angle: **I'd like to know what's going to happen next, I have no idea until I write it. 

**Mary-Kate:** hey, whatever you want.

**Guard_Girl****: yeah, that was kind of my mistake, oops…but you get what I mean.**

**Fanciful Sovereign:** oh, I hate pumpkins too. I could rant for hours…but I won't.

**BritPrincess****: interesting good or interesting bad?**

**sirius**:** I'm updating, sorry about the agony. hope ur ok.**

**Sazinous****: ALL OF THEM?!?!?!?!?!?! u missed chap. 3 hahahahaha**

**Prongsie-gurl8:** sorry, sorry, updating now…

**lACY**:** thanks, hope it stays good.**

**nedd**:** glad to know I fill you're life…and I don't even know you…god, I'm good…lol…**

**Missers****: what are diaries for if not to steal? and it depends if Caroline wants to be gotten rid of, a bit. **

**Jazlyn****: Hope I bring some meaning back into your life by updating.**

**Fluffball**** of Doom: good? great adjective. no, thanks, it was a mistake actually (oops).**

**3 Hours Later, Still In The Girl's Bathroom, **Tuesday, September 13th, 1977********

Dear Diary,

I. AM. SO. BORED.

I have done my history of magic essay. I've counted the tiles in here five times, and I got a different amount each time. But 54 are cracked.

This is so not as fun as it's supposed to be. I counted the number of times James's name appears in the graffiti. 27. Then again, James is the most eligible guy in the school, being gorgeous, Quidditch hero, smart, leader of Marauders, you get it.

I was debating putting 'James and Lily' in a heart, but I decided against it for reasons such as:

a) Someone could see it

b) And form the wrong conclusion

c) Someone could tell James about it

d) I'd get far too many jokes about denial

e) It's a stupid idea anyway

SO BORED  
I think I'm going to chuck this piece of tile at the wall for a while.

Buh-bye,

Lily

**15 minutes later, In The Girl's Bathroom, **Tuesday, September 13th, 1977********

Dear Diary,

The tile broke.

And I'm really hungry.

If I snuck out and got some food, and no-one noticed, then no-one would know I'd stopped my little hiding in the bathroom thing, and they'd still think I was upset and stubborn, which I am, but at least I won't be upset, stubborn and _hungry_.

Wait, someone's climbing through the window.

There is no way this can turn out good.

Maybe if I curl myself up into a really small ball then they won't find me.

Oh shit. It's James. Bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD!

He's standing in front of me, eyebrow raised at my pathetic attempt of curling myself up in a ball and still trying to write.

HE'S GRINNING! 

AT ME!

HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY BE HAPPY AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?

Wait, he has chocolate. My favourite chocolate. From Honeydukes! I LOVE THAT CHOCOLATE!

I'm just going to keep writing and ignore him. And stop looking at/thinking about the chocolate. 

Oh now he's laughing at something some girl wrote about him on the wall.

HE KNOWS I'M LOOKING AT HIM!

HE'S HOLDING THAT CHOCLATE RIGHT WHERE I CAN SEE IT!

EVIL BOY!

I'm just going to sit here and ignore him.

And the chocolate.

I'm not going to give in.

I'm not going to acknowledge him.

Damn I want that chocolate.

He's waiting for me to talk to him.

He KNOWS I want that chocolate.

Ow! He just threw a tile at my head. I'm glaring at him, and he's still grinning.

EVIL BOY!

It was so much easier to be mad at him when I wasn't in love with him.

That's it. I want that chocolate.

Be right back.

Lily.

**5 Minutes After That, In The Girl's Bathroom, ****Tuesday, September 13th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

Ok this is the conversation right after I decided I needed the chocolate.

ME: Hi…James.

JAMES: Hey Lily.

ME: Imagine seeing you here.

JAMES: Yes, Imagine that.

ME: So…you have chocolate?

JAMES: Yeah, you want some?

ME: If you're offering.

Note: Throughout this entire conversation I managed to not sound like I'd just been crying, like I was flirting, like I was mad at him or anything. I managed to pretend like we were friends again!

JAMES: There's a condition.

ME: What?

JAMES: Guess.

ME: I give up.

JAMES: You don't get chocolate then.

ME: But James…

JAMES: But Lily…

ME: Fine.

JAMES: Fine.

So now I'm back to writing in here. And pointedly ignoring him. And craving that chocolate.

He just commented that he'd never been in a girl's bathroom before.

Thank God.

I'm not going to respond.

I think he wants me to apologise.

But, you see, I can't. Because I might start blabbering. And I might accidentally tell him I love him. 

**Top 10 Reasons Not To Talk To James.**

**10. Calories. Chocolate gives calories.**

**9. Might tell him I love him. (BAD)  
**8.** Might get heartbroken because he loves Caroline.**

**7. He'll think I suck at being stubborn.**

**6. The spider might become aware that there are people out here that he/she/it could come down and bite said people.**

**5. He might have hidden pumpkin-flavoured chocolate hidden in a nice-flavoured chocolate wrapper, coz he's still mad at me.**

**4. Hello, that would require effort.**

**3. I'm in the middle of writing a list!**

**2. I have no idea what to say.**

**1. I really, really don't want him to ask why I'm crying.**

What is he doing here anyway? Has he forgotten he's mad at me? What about Caroline? Has he broken up with Caroline?

Tell me he's broken up with Caroline.

You know, it's completely stupid even hoping for that. They're obviously still crazy about each other, or they were approximately 3 hours and 45 minutes ago.

This is stupid.

I'm bored.

Hey, why is it that it took 3 hours and 15 minutes before someone came and found me?

Wait, James just chucked me a note.

I'll copy it out.

Hey Evans,

Since you currently seem to prefer writing in that damn book then talking, maybe you could write and beg for the chocolate?

J.

Well I'm not talking to him NOW.

James just looked hopeful for a second, but that was because I stood up. It didn't work out for him because all I did was move into another cubicle, I've read all the graffiti in here.

Did you know Delta likes John?

I didn't either.

I'm so bored.

I'm going to write to James, but only because I want to know why it took 3 hours and 15 minutes for someone to come and find me.

Copy of note from Lily Evans to James Potter:

Why did it take _over 3 hours for someone to find me? _

Reply of James Potter:

Talking now, are we?

Reply of Lily Evans:

Tell me Potter

Reply of James Potter:

Because you'd never talk to anyone without chocolate as a bribe, so we had to go down and buy some

Reply of Lily Evans:

Go away

Reply of James Potter:

Mature. Really.

I didn't reply.

I'm still bored. Being stubborn is surprisingly NOT FUN!

Why couldn't I have hidden in the kitchens?

You know, James looks pretty hot at the moment. Actually, he looks pretty hot all the ti

**Gryffindor Common Room, **Tuesday, September 13th, 1977********

Dear Lily's diary,

THIS IS SIRIUS. Ok, now that's out5 of the way.

I am writing in this diary because Lily is currently unable to, and I feel it is my responsibility to record the happenings of the last few hours. And I wanted an excuse to read the latest happenings in Lily's diary, and find out why she's currently sobbing to herself in an armchair, refusing to talk to anyone, and why James is currently looking out the window and doesn't seem to be noticing his surroundings. Me and Remus tried shouting at him, but he just kept staring out that window.

Ok, I'm going back to read the diary.

Will be back soon.

Sirius

**Still in the Gryffindor Common Room, **Tuesday, September 13th, 1977********

Dear Lily's diary,

So Lils loves Jamesie. Like that wasn't predictable.

_Hey, this is Nat! I've decided I'm helping Sirius solve the mystery._

Information so far:

L.E. sees J.P. and C.D. snogging after discovering she loved him.

L.E. runs at first possible chance.

L.E. stays in bathroom for ages.

J.P. finds her and tries to talk to her.

L.E. insists on being stubborn, and forgot to record how many times S.B.'s name appears in that bathroom, because he'd really like to know.

L.E. stops writing-is presumably interrupted.

J.P. and L.E. turn up hours later, L.E. crying and running away from J.P. who is chasing after her and trying to get her to talk to him, and she curled up in armchair#7 in the Gryffindor Common Room, pushed him away, and he went and sat in armchair#4, staring out the window.

L.E.'s still crying.

J.P.'s still staring out the window.

_We're going to try and figure out what happened_

Interview #1

Recorded by N.T.

S.B.: Hey, Jamesie.

J.P.: _(no response)_

S.B.: What happened with Lily Evans this afternoon?

J.P.: _(still no response)_

S.B.: _(resorting to drastic action conjures up a bucket of icy water to pour itself over J.P.'s head)  
J.P.: (gives _S.B. exasperated look)_ Bugger off. _(He spoke!)__

S.B.: James! Imagine saying that to your best friend! Your fellow Marauder! Your-

J.P.: I'm not in the mood.

S.B.: (whining_) But we have to find out what happened with Lily!_

J.P.: Go get a life and stay out of mine.

S.B.: Are you trying to be immortalised in Lily's diary as a bastard.

J.P.: Stop reading her diary, just stay out of stuff that doesn't concern you.

S.B.: But-

J.P.: GO!

S.B.: Yeesh. Somebody's got PMS.

Interview #2

Recorded by S.B.

N.T.: Hey, Lily.

L.E.: (sobbing)

N.T.: Chocolate?

L.E.: (sobbing louder. Why? I like it when people offer me chocolate. Girls are strange)

N.T.: Lily, obviously you've been through a rough time…

L.E.: (chucks pillow at N.T.)

N.T.: Lily!

L.E.: (gets up, runs up stairs and a door is heard slamming. Obviously we would have gotten further if we had poured icy water on her)

**Top 10 Reasons Lily And James Could Be Acting Like This. **

**10. _They both lost their minds from prolonged exposure to an unhygienic bathroom. _**

Nat, they were in a _girl's bathroom, and girls are far too clean. That's a stupid solution._

_What do you suggest then?_

**9. They were both attacked by Doxies, and got bitten. They were hurrying to the hospital wing, and got knocked out by some eggplants that were flying around. They woke up ages later, and continued to the hospital wing, but then Lily saw a horrific sight and started crying. James had already taken the antidote, but Lily was gone, so he started running after her, but she thought he was the horrific sight (whatever it was) so kept running and got back here and is crying to herself, and James was cursed by the horrific sight when he saw it, and made his way to a chair, and can't think properly, and he is waiting for the horrific sight to pass by the window so he can go and curse it.**

_Don't tell me you believe that._

It's better then your story.

_Is not!_

Is too. It's your turn to make a suggestion.

**8. _Lily was bitten by the spider, and now Lily's upset because she's going to die. And James is upset because Lily's going to die, but he can't cry because he's a guy and has to pretend to be all macho. And then tonight Lily will come down and the common room will be empty except for James, and they'll confess their love to one another, but the poison will overcome Lily, and she'll drop dead in his arms, and he'll cry, he won't be able to help himself, then he'll kill himself because he can't live without her._**

That is so what a girl would say.

_I am a girl, genius._

I think genius is going a bit to far, I mean, I know I'm brilliant, but genius has sort of a nerdy quality to it and-

_Sarcasm, Sirius.__ Sarcasm._

**7. Maybe Lily is crying because she has a mean best friend who makes fun of everyone for no good reason, except that she feels inferior.**

**6. _Maybe James is depressed because he just realised his best friend is a complete loser who doesn't care enough about him to think up a decent explanation as to why he's upset!_**

**5.Maybe Lily is sobbing because her under competent best friend can only think of stupid explanations involving spiders which the hospital has antidotes to! Nobody would die!**

**4. _Maybe James is so dejected because his best friend is obviously on dope, as he seems to think that eggplants randomly fly around the halls._**

**3. Maybe Lily is bawling her eyes out because her best friend assumes things about people with no proof, and Lily is scared her best friend will judge her.**

**2. _Maybe James is miserable because his best friend can't give him and the girl he likes privacy and must insist on knowing things at all times._**

**1. Maybe we should just give the diary to James let him read it and watch his reaction.**

_Fine.___

Fine.

_Nat and Black_

So we're using last names now, are we?

_Shut it Black_

*****************

Yay, I finished another chapter! Fun, fun, fun, sorry it took so long. 

REVIEW!

luv,

tori

**Top 10 Questions**

**10. Who invented pumpkins? (I have to know who to assassinate)**

**9. Does James know that Lily is in love with him?**

**8. Were Sirius and Nat flirting, of fighting?**

**7. What happened to the spider?**

**6. Did Lily get her chocolate?**

**5. How many times is Sirius's name mentioned in the graffiti in the girl's bathroom?**

**4. What's so interesting outside the window that James feels the need to stare out it for long periods at a time?**

**3. Where was Caroline during all of this?**

**2. What actually happened between Lily stopping writing in the middle of a word, and them running into the common room?**

**1. What happens next?**

The thing is, I, Tori, have no idea. I don't know the answer to any of those questions. You can guess, but I won't know if you get it right, because I have no idea what's going to happen.

review now,

destroy pumpkins, 

eat chocolate.

luv,

tori


	7. Chapter 7

**Firstly I just want to say that when I finally did figure out what happened, nobody guessed it that I know of, which I'm really glad of…and they don't get together, obviously because then I'd have to finish the story and I don't want to…also sorry, this chapter's really short, but it kind of had to be because I only wanted it to be the one diary entry.**

**On my bed, considerably distressed, ****Tuesday, September 13th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

Crap. So many times crap.

_James's _owl just delivered this diary back to me.

Crap. If he read it…I don't even want to think about that.

Then he would find out that I love him…and considering what just happened, that isn't a good thing.

Oh, wait, I was going to read what Sirius wrote. One second.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

James read it. James knows. This is so unfair. I hate life.

I mean, one second I was innocently sitting in the bathroom, pretending to ignore James while obsessing over his hotness, when he pointed out the spider was on my leg. I screamed, obviously. I mean, _hello, _a SPIDER was on MY leg.

ON MY LEG!

I COULD'VE DIED!

Actually, that might have been preferable to my current situation.

But you don't know about that yet do you?

At least I'm not hungry anymore, I mean that's one advantage to being friends with the leader if the Marauders - He takes you to the kitchens after you've just had a horrifying experience with a spider.

Which, by the way, he thought was FUNNY.

Evil Boy.

I mean, I SCREAMED, then he just laughed and flicked it away.

He didn't even kill it!

It's still out there, waiting to attack other, innocent, heartbroken girls.

What was that boy thinking????

 Although, while he was laughing, I managed to steal the chocolate, run off, and lock myself in a broom cupboard. I can still taste it…so, so good.

Of course, when I came out, James was waiting there, but I did get the chocolate, so there was some success.

Then he took me to the kitchens because my stomach rumbled really loudly.

The whole time we were there I didn't say anything, and neither did he, so we walked in silence and ate in silence.

But then he said it. 

He so completely ruined my life.

I can even remember the exact words:

'Hey, Lils, I know our friendship was always, um, hindered by the fact that I was in love with you, but, um, I'm really sorry for all our fights and stuff and I really want to be friends with you again, and I know you're going to say we'll just end up fighting again anyway but we won't because I won't hit on you anymore because I love Caroline.'

He loves Caroline. 

He fucking loves Caroline.

Lily

**************

Ok, I no that's kind of depressing but it all works out good in the end, promise (well, kinda, except for the fact that they die and all…

ok, I'm just gonna thank the reviewers this time coz I'm SO TIRED coz the Powderfinger concert was last night and it was so good, but so exhausting, and yeah thank you all, and I want to hear what everyone thinks on James and Lily and Caroline now. ok?

please, please, please review!

luv, tori


	8. Chapter 8

**I Don't Know What Time It Is Because I Lost My Watch But It's Dark And I'm Still On My Bed And I'm Going To Thoroughly Go Through The James Situation , Tuesday, September 13th, 1977**

**Top 10 Reasons James Should Be With Me And Not HER**

**10. **He was mine first.

**9.** We were like, each other's first kiss. Ok, about a second later he became the first boy I ever slapped, and I became the first girl to slap him, and then we didn't talk for a week, so it wasn't exactly romantic, but you know, we were ELEVEN. (This was after he dated Nat, by the way) Anyway, at ELEVEN, I thought it was romantic if a guy smiled in my general direction. Even if he was a seventh year and his seventh year girlfriend was right behind me. I still maintain Amos Diggory was smiling at me. The fact that I told him I couldn't date him because he already had a girlfriend didn't count. Luckily, I wasn't embarrassed then because I didn't figure out until later that he was talking to James, who was next to me, when he said "You're pretty cool, kid." James laughed at me for days. Actually, that's what made us start talking again after the kiss/slap incident.

And then I told him he was just jealous because he had a crush on me, or why would he have kissed me? James said that, no, he just wanted to be good at kissing when a pretty girl came along.

We stopped talking again because I slapped him again. I wonder if he remembers that. Oh go I'm going to cry again. Oh no wait I AM crying. Oh shit, I'm totally out of tissues.

**8.** I stole some of Jenny's tissues. Reason #8: Me and James have had the whole chemistry thing going on for like ever.

**7.** I would so try to overcome my fear of brooms if he really wanted me to come flying with him. Now that's commitment.

**6.** What kind of stupid name is Caroline anyway?

**5. **If he was with me, there wouldn't be any tension before Ravenclaw/Gryffindor Quidditch matches. Well, not between us. Maybe between me and stupid Quidditch obsessed, boyfriend stealing bitches.

**4.** James and I have common interests. We both fully agree that toffee ice-cream is the greatest invention by mankind. I mean, the wheel was useful, yeah, but can it really compare?

I heard she actually likes chocolate ice-cream. I mean, hello, _conformer._

**3.** His mum totally likes me. I mean, James and me go over to each other's houses ALL THE TIME during the holidays. She's really cool, and agrees that Quidditch is stupid. So, if Caroline ever tried to marry him or something, she would have the bitchiest mother-in-law ever.

**2.** I actually have a chest, and she is like, flat as. Not that James is shallow, but hey, he's a guy…

**1. **Because I really, really, love him, and I really, really don't think I could bear seeing them together again.

**Top 10 Reasons James Should Be With Caroline**

**10. **He's hers now, and he's so happy (please say he's faking it)

**9.** She was never stupid enough to slap him. AND I bet she is organized enough to keep spare tissues in case of crisis.

**8.** Judging by the over-the-top spit transferring I say just before, they have a bit of chemistry there too.

**7. **She totally wouldn't embarrass herself on a broom, which I would so do. (but you know, if I really hurt myself…he could take care of me…there are so many possibilities here..)

**6.** It's not like it's cool to be named after a flower either. For a grandma, maybe. A teenager? So not.

**5.** Let's face it, the tension could add spice to their relationship. What would add spice to me and James? Fights over pumpkin juice?

**4.** Ok, we like toffee ice-cream, but we disagree on pumpkin juice, Quidditch, pumpkin pasties, schoolwork, pumpkin soup, the advantages of floo powder (THERE ARE NONE!!!!), pumpkins in general etc. etc.

**3.** His mum may like me but his Dad thinks I'm a total airhead. He likes Quidditch too, so would probably prefer her over me. And whenever I have dinner at his house or something, he always makes comments on how well one of his rich friend's daughters would suit James. As opposed to his mum, who I'm 99% sure has started planning James and my wedding.

**2.** He's athletic, maybe he likes girls with athletic bodies. 

**1.** He really, really loves her, and he really, really doesn't love me. Not anymore.

That's it, I'm taking sleeping tablets. I can't handle the James talk anymore.

Goodnight.

Lily

**On My Bed, ****Wednesday, September 14th, 1977******

Dear Diary,

I have had an amazing revelation while asleep.

I am an intelligent, funny, individual, gorgeous woman of the 20th century. 

I should not depend on a MAN for my own fulfilment.

Therefore, I will dedicate my future towards improving myself as a person, not because I want to impress a certain someone, but because I want to achieve self-actualisation. 

**Top 10 Steps To Becoming A Self-Actualised Individual**

**10.** Accept James Potter's apology. The New Lily Evans will be above petty grudges. 

**9.** Don't act mean to Caroline. The girl is only a hopeless pawn caught up in the charms of a boy who manages to do that very easily to perfectly intelligent people (eg. me). However, actually being nice is not necessary, as I am certain that at some stage she knew exactly what she was doing.

**8.** Give up chocolate. I should not have to depend on it to brighten my life. Instead, I will take pleasure out of life's simple, calorie-free pleasures, i.e. the chirping of birds, the dew on the grass in the morning, the delightful sound of a spider dying…

**7. **Accept pumpkin juice as the thorn among the rose that is my new life. Be glad that the thorn is not fatal (as far as is known)

**6.** Be patient, accepting and kind to those less fortunate than myself. 

**5.** Let the next boy who asks me out down gently, instead of laughing in his face as I have done on previous occasions (other than with James). It's not my fault; the concept is just so damn funny. I mean, it is so cute of them to ever think we would work out. I need someone who can share my creative and artistic visions, and help me explore my need to express myself, not guys who think that tulips are the new roses.

**4.** Become perfect role-model, avoid doing schoolwork the night before it is due, pay attention and take detailed notes in class, (actually on the class topic, instead of notes with Nat on the Joey and Rick's latest break-up). This will remove the need for James's tutoring sessions.

**3. **Find deeper inspiration then boy bands, which, although very good-looking, are not intellectually stimulating. 

**2.** Avoid doing things purely to annoy others. Do things only for the inner sense of satisfaction they bring, not for any material benefits I get out it. (eg. the time I volunteered at the animal shelter because the guy who cleaned the dog cages was hot)

**1.** Be true to myself.

Bye! Off to enjoy my first day of truly living!

Lily

*******************

sorry it's short, I just wanted to get something up, and I'm so sorry its been so long, and I don't have enough time to reply to reviews, but I promise I will next time. ok?

love,

tori

P.S. review!

P.P.S. SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!


	9. Chapter 9

Hi!!!!!!!! Thank you for not being mad at me for not updating!!!!!!!!!

THERE IS ACTUALLY A CHAPTER IF YOU GET PAST ALL THE REVIEW REPLIES! SORRY! I WAS IN A TALKATIVE MOOD!

I HOPE I GOT EVERYONE! SOOOOOOOO SORRY IF I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!

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* * *

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**navy-blue6** – thanks! Ill try, and here it is...

**gldnsunsprite21 **– thank you! Im so happy you like it!

**Goldilocks31890 – **I know its beensoooo long and im so sorry but I couldn't think of anything to write about.

**lily – **I'll try! And I don't know whats in the next chapter! I haven't written it, and it's a kind of as-I-go story.

**sugarshock – **thanks! Ok!

**kitty228806 – **lol thanks. I'm loved, wow. Happy you liked it.

**SeEkEr-GrL-7 – **maybe...you'll have to keep reading...ooh, the suspense...

**Aj-potter – **sorry about James breaking Lily's heart but you know...all part of the plotline...

**c – **thanks...sorry, its not really soon, is it?

**mischiefmanaged00**** – **james ain't confessing anytime soon, trust me. WAY too many ends to tie up first. but one day...

**Cecile Li**** – **hope u don't die of lack of oxygen. that would kind of mess up ur life (just a bit). thanks!

**I love truegryffindorgrit** **– **ooh...chemistry exams. not fun. (I am not a science person). and james was a chaser. I agree.

**Caroline – **I was worried that someone named caroline would eventually get offended by that. sorry! but I did have to pick a name, and I kind of ended up with caroline coz I was friends with a girl named caroline when I was little but then we started hating each other and then she moved away and...I don't know why. that's just the name I ended up with.

**shadowed.phoenix**** – **omg, I know, I totally hate diary stories. I tried them, and ii like died of boredom. so I was scared about writing this, but it's ok, I guess, coz I don't make out like it's serious or whatever. caroline cops so much from everyone I swear. poor girl. spiders and pumpkins do suck. I completely agree. this is my outlet for my inner hatred of them.

**Hermione-weasley86**** – **oh my god, if you hadn't told me you were Spanish I never would've guessed that English wasn't your first language. honestly, I wish I could speak another language that well. thanks, I love lily's personality too. she's cool, hey? don't you wish you knew her?

**Toxy Black – **wow, everyone asks for Moony. it's hard, I need to find him a role first, before I can put him in. but I'll try (I haven't actually figured out what's going to happen in this chappie yet so I can still do that) Sirius will get more time too! I swear!

**Prongsie-gurl8**** – **thanks! I cant wait til chapter 9! I didn't plan this story like I did with my others so I don't know exactly whats gonna happen. except that they get together in the end of course but that's a given.

**eX Driver Liz**** –**gods, I wish it was realistic. like one of those based on a true story things. but I'm lily. that'd be cool, having a james to give me chocolate. I'm updating though, so try to stay alive so u can read it (if u are breathing, it generally improves your comprehension skills)

**Diabla666**** – **I'm not sure if uve reviewed before...I lose track easily. cute huh? that's cool. I like cute.

**Ruth3**** – **tissues? as in those little paper things u use to blow ur nose? seriously? that might be quite scary, now I think about it. those corners are pretty sharp. thanks! (not about the tissues...the rest of it...)

**Hannah – **I know it's like the princess diaries, not sure if it's better though. but about the princess diaries, they were really good at the start and now they're just dragging on a bit. don't u think? but anyway, thanks, ive gotten a couple comments about people laughing too much and being referred to therapists...so maybe cracking up all the time aint that great...

**truegryfinndorgrit**** – **Bridget Jones is one of my all-time fave movies. EVER. it's SO funny. she's so cool. I love Sirius and Nat bits too, but everyone wants them to be a couple now, which is kind of my fault, but the thing is, they were never supposed to be. I should probably try to clear that up...

**nikka – **hey! thanks for ur review. short n' sweet I guess.

**cactus jam – **I want to put Sirius more in the diary, coz he's cool, but he's my fave character so I don't want to mess him up. maybe Remus, but I need to think of how first. I want to put him in too though. I think it's good that I write good depressed and psychotic people... what does cactus jam mean anyway? or is it just some random thing that just popped into ur head when u were searching for a pen-name? with my pen-name, it was embarrassing coz it was supposed to be about Sirius, but then my friend pointed out that Black was alos the last name of this guy I liked, and she wanted to check out that I wasn't about to start stalking him or something. but anyway, thanks!

**Swishy Willow Wand**** – **I'm glad u thought it was funny, and i just realised I say glad way to much and I kind of sound like Pollyanna (scary).

**emilyshka – **thanks. and sorry I took ages to update. I'm kind of like that... I just can't think of what to write.

**CrazyStarz**** – **hey ali! I'm trying to update on the long weekend...trying. doesn't soon mean 'sometime in the next six months?' coz I thought it did. oh...

**WalkingCensure **– I'm updating! and its kind of soon (not)! I take it you were reading the stories in her faves then? I'm glad you liked it, but don't blame the fic, it's not its fault...

**marauder marion** – thank you, I liked it. TOFFEE ICE CREAM IS THE BEST!!!!!!!! weird but cool lists huh? so like me? and I'll have you know that that is a GREAT smiley.

**sugarshock** – Hi! So happy you're happy! I'm updating! Thank you!

**Satine M** –Really? you think the princess diary thing suits? it depends, I guess on whether you go on the whole "uptight perfect prefect" thing or not. I don't know, this fic turned out totally different to how it was supposed to when I started writing it. I'm still not sure what happened. maybe you mean its just the princess diary style fits her when she's got the character she has in this story? And I'm dying to know what's gonna happen, I have no idea, I seriously write as I go (no-one ever believes me when I tell them that). i'm just doing the replies, and then I'll search my brain for something to happen in this chappie. and I cant kill caroline, sorry :(

**xxGREEN BAYxx **– thanks! caroline gets paid out so much in the reviews...its sort of unfair, if you think about it. she didn't do anything wrong _really_, she just wanted to go out with this popular, good-looking guy who plays Quidditch so shares interests with her... in my mind she was never actually supposed to be like an enemy...but everyone hates her...sigh...I can't really do anything about it, its too late...

**anniePADFOOT – **the pov is just going to be lily's, except you know, when someone else steals her diary to write in it. some people said I should get james's pov, but I like the idea that no-one knows what he's thinking (except for me...hehe)

**fate's fallen angel **– I went to read your fic, and the I found out id already read it ( I no I didn't review it but I never review fics because I can never think of anything to say and I feel stupid) but I liked it and I was you know, following it when you updated. glad you love my story!

**razormouthrachel** - yeah I kind of got it off the princess diary thing, but its not that similar really, I mean they have heaps of differences and stuff...I hope...and I have no idea how long its gonna go on for, it depends how many complications I can think of ;)

**duva – **thanks. smashing is that slang from...where? is it English or what? never heard anyone say it before, but you no, I no what it means, so I must have read it somewhere. I get so weird using slang in stories coz its just like...they do say this in other countries right? people know what this means? is it used in the UK? does it sound too Australian/American? anyway, that so incredibly off topic (I do that a lot). thanks!!!! (that's what I was trying to say)

**siriusforeva** – Or will he? nah, he won't there's no way I'm gonna let them get together that easily! its waaaaay to much fun making their lives hell. besides, apart from this story, where else would I be able to let out my anger on whatever evil let pumpkins loose in the world?

**angelgurl161 – **wow. long review. yay! I'll try not to go too off-topic when I'm answering it or I'll never get to the unlucky people who are below you on the list. that mood-soaring comment is cool. its sooo cool that I make people happy and laugh and stuff. actually, small author's secret here, lily hates pumpkin juice because the night I first included that in the story, my mum had been trying to shove pumpkins down my throat (evil woman), so I was mad at pumpkins, so I kind of "channelled my anger" through the story...and it become like the thing that people comment on most in reviews, except for, you know, all the caroline death threats. and I so care that you reviewed! trust me, you can never get enough reviews (except bad ones, I guess) and I'm not bored. I love long reviews! they're so gorgeous! hope this chapter is good enough for u! I'm on your fave stories list? thank you sooo much, that's so awesome.

**careme777** – omg, I totally love long words too! too many people have done the diary thing, ive decided. its not different anymore :(. actually, it never really was different, I only did it because I wanted to write a diary, and I realised lily's life is so much more interesting than mine. I love it when people say my writing's funny, because its kind of funny to me because I never really meant for it to be funny, it just kinda happened like that. thanks for all the nice stuff you said, btw, I don't think I've said that yet.

**yeen **– oh, I'm soooo sorry to have made you wait. SORRY!!!!!!!! I like the lists, too, they're cool, but honestly, basically I just put them in when I've run out of plotlines to use. (laziness) I'm glad you still like it!

**Missers** – thank you! you are sooo sweet! and so LOYAL omg, how many of my stories do you review, its so cool, I swear I love it, and I was hoping u hadn't forgotten about me when I took so long to do anything (no really, I did actually think of you specifically). and I no, how CUTE is the slapping story? it just kind of came, it wasn't supposed to or anything. and then I re-read it , like what is that, that's not supposed to be there I'll take it out, but I couldn't, it was so adorable. I love new-found lily. it'll be so fun to have her trying (probably failing) to comply with it. thank you heaps! bye!

**Twilight66** – thank you. I said this to someone else, but I think its so gorgeously funny when people say the story's funny because I just never intended it to be like that (sigh...all hopes at ever writing good, serious literature gone). but you no, if I can write funny stuff that's pretty good, I guess. (its not like I want to be writer anyway...I use this story merely as a way of expressing my hatred of all things pumpkin...)

**rinny **– THANK YOU! wow...very short and to the point review. I am so bad at doing that, once I wrote this review, and somehow I got onto the subject of tomatoes. How? Why? I don't know.

**Lolly6 **– oh god, Its so weird when people say its like a real diary, coz I never kept one, and ive never read anyones, oh no that's not true, I read Anne frank's diary, you know, the girl from WWII, and I read the princess diaries which is kinda where I stole the style of writing from (oops) and yeah, but still its just strange when people say that. but cool, I guess.

**MidnightStarfire **– yes...there was a bit of delay between updates (oops). thank u, I love the lists, they make it look like I've written something when I'm just buying time so I can actually think of a plotline...lol...I will not make you wait for a year (I hope...don't hold me to that) thanks for saying its one of the best L/J fics, that's so awesome.

**glitzydancingshoes – **oh I'm sorry! don't hurt me! you've been reviewing my stuff for ages! I need you to like me! but look, the fics back! yay! (forgive me?)

**Red-Emerald **– ooh...did james read the diary, the big question. I know if he did or didn't, but as I haven't written it down yet, that may change without notice. is james gentlemanly? I don't know, not really, he's a 17 year old boy, yeah? as if they're gentlemanly.

**theoneandonly **– interesting and crazy huh? hopefully that good crazy. I'm pretty sure I have my crazy moments...hopefully interesting ones too. but yay! go interesting and crazy things/people!!!!!!!!!! and I hate to point it out but it is just another fanfic. but wouldn't it be awesome if they all like, really existed and had diaries? that'd be so cool. don't u think?

**SillyGillie** – omg, it was the weirdest thing when I read your review, coz u no everyone always says when they read they fic that I've obviously read the princess diaries books, (which I have, by the way) and then u were like 'you've read princess in pink' and I'm going what the hell is that, so I looked it up, and do u no that ii found out the princess diaries books have different names here in Australia? How completely strange is that? eg. the fifth book over here is called 'give me five'. whats going on there?

but anyway, thank you heaps for your review.

**Honk4Weasley** – yeah ok, there's a little extra time to get new chapters up, and then there's like 6 months. I feel so guilty about that. thank you, though. and I suppose it is better than abandoning it altogether.

**silentmiko242** – hey, I forgot everything that happened in this story too. you're not alone. and yeah the entire last chapter was like lists...that might've been because I didn't know what should happen so I just sort of shoved some lists in there.

**GreenCookie** – thank you so much! its weird, its not really supposed to be all that funny (not when I started the fic anyway) but somehow that kind of happened...

**brittie** – wow, its quite spooky (but kinda cool) how many death threats/messages of hate Caroline gets. Poor girl. everyone hates her! I don't hate her! she's a pawn! I don't know...somehow she became the enemy in my story without me noticing...

**Kat** – omg, did you really print that out? no, seriously? that is so cool! I'm not sure how good the advice is (I wrote it late at night), and besides, I think its kinda obvious it's not gonna work for lily anyways. and you should not be reading fanfiction, you should be concentrating your efforts onto unique and effective (preferably legal) revenge ideas for your ex.

**electra** – No, Sam, I do not own a sewing machine. sorry. no. would it have killed you to talk about something relevant? I thought you bought some gross hideous thing for the musical (seventies fashion...shudder (I just saw starsky and hutch)), someone told me that you did. oh well...thanks...I guess...

**FrEgOrGeLuVeR225** – ok, I no I write long replies (or I have this time anyway) but you really didn't give me much to reply to...thanks anyways.

**BeCkY6** – yes I read the princess diaries (again and again and again...). its kind of annoying that my most popular story is so obviously recognizable as someone else's style of writing. but oh well. its not like the plots really the same or anything, so I guess its alright. so fun to write though. I love it when people put me on their faves! thank you! I love you!

**marauder23 **– I care if its short! I'm trying to insert as many apologies as I can for both that and the long delay, except you don't seem to mind that all that much, so I'll avoid putting one in here. of course Lily's plan to become better will fall though. I mean, she at least needs a "transitional phase". don't you think?

**Laura** – Wow, if you actually make the lists to become better you're waaaaaayyyyy ahead of me. I kind of think about thinking about making a list. And I eat chocolate just...whenever. always. right now, in fact.

**Irish Silhouette** – I'm sorry! it was short, I no! SO SORRY!!!!!!! this one will be longer (or it will at least appear that way because of all the review replies)

**Padfoot Hoshi** – How often do you update? because if you're like me, not that often. Have you seen those people that update like EVERY DAY? HOW? I mean, it's good for readers and all, but still manages to make me feel inferior.

**Armadrieclya **– OH MY GOD! man-eating llamas?????? that. is. so. cool. and the emporers new groove is like one of my fave movies of all time! except the llamas in that aren't all that man-eating (that we know of...)

**Joanna** – thank you sooo much. I'm trying to hurry! its just not working out so well...

**Mornings Dew** – time...the lists aren't so original, I may have sort of "borrowed" the idea from a book I read once...but you know, I made up all the things in the lists, the lists in the book were about completely different things, so its not exactly copying... I'm glad I updated this story too, god knows I took long enough.

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus** – wow, that was enthusiastic. (not a word I usually use to describe reviews, but still good). the smiley was v. cute too.

**Winky27b **– fun to read? well I guess that's good. and honestly rambling is fine, I do it all the time. no, really, ALL THE TIME.

**Hoshii-chan** – oh thank you, your review was so nice, sorry your stomach hurts but glad I made you laugh. and I'll keep writing coz it's holidays and I don't have a whle lot of other things to do.

**fyresdestiny** – thanks...short and sweet...

**Greek Witch** – oh god, I wish I was good at writing diaries. I mean, writing someone else's diary is bit different, and much easier, because you can always just give them something to write about, while in your own diaries it's like...um...I had toast for breakfast...which I do everyday...yeah... It's so annoying, so I'm glad there's someone else out there who can't do it either.

**Spellcaster Hikaru** – thank you so much! maybe he will steal it again...if I can think of something for him to say. he probably will, coz a lot of reviews mention his input. did james read the diary? only I know that...(insert evil laugh)

**Procyon Marie** – thanks! i love it when people call the story cute, because being cute is kinda awesome. (it's my fave adjective...which is quite weird, when you think about it)

**FrightninglyObsessed** – aww...she's not an awful girl really...just a rebound girl...I feel sorry for her, actually. but obviously that relationship must end at some stage...sigh...it's so fun writing about it too.

**Star19 **– 10. thank you, far too many people tell me that though, it'll go to my head.

9. well...sorta...if you ignore the whole princess diaries thing...

8. really? coz I imagine it a lot different, so I don't know why I'm writing this really, just for kicks.

7. isn't that the same thing as reason 10?

6. and again the same thing...

5. is it realistic of every teenage girl? coz hell, I'd love to have a james in love with me, but it aint happening...

4. again, the same point.

3. I do? really? that's kinda cool.

2. not always a good thing, trust me.

1. yes, you mentioned that (see 10, 7, 6 and 4)

**DeoxyriboNucleic Acid** – thank you for forgiving me! I'm so sorry! strange, I can find a lot of criticism when reading my story. like toffee ice-cream, how did that come into my head? how random is it?

ok, see there is an actual chap now! thank you for reviewing!

also – I would like to point out that I do hate pumpkins with a passion, therefore I have to continue with this fic as it is my only way of expressing my dislike.

honestly though, they don't taste good, I don't like soup so I'm not going to have pumpkin soup, AND we don't celebrate Halloween in Australia (not really anyway) so you know I don't even get to make cool faces out of them.

* * *

**During My First Breakfast As Me, Wednesday, September 14th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

**FIRST CONVERSATION BETWEEN JAMES AND THE NEW ME**

SIRIUS: Hey, Lily, pass me the pumpkin sauce.

(Note: He expected me to _touch_ that. Um, I don't _think_ so. I'm now into all that accepting everything and all, but _no._)

LILY: Sorry, Sirius, did you say something?

SIRIUS: Yeah, pumpkin sauce.

(_I know!_ I couldn't believe it either. But yes, it does now come in a sauce.People eat it too. _On pancakes_. They have ruined pancakes.)

JAMES: She won't touch pumpkin sauce, Padfoot. You know that.

SIRIUS: Oh yeah. Huh. Hey Lily, could you give me that pumpkin sauce if I get you one of those chocolate pancakes? With chocolate chips?

LILY: (suffering on inside, but appearing cool, calm and collected on the outside. Hollywood, here I come.) Actually, Sirius, I have discovered many more pleasures in life that bring me more joy and are much better for me. (ok, not yet. But I've only been up for a bit. Give me time.)

JAMES: They have chocolate pancakes now?

SIRIUS: Yeah, just brought them in for the first time today.

(Yeah, the day I swear off chocolate. Would happen.)

JAMES: I love chocolate.

(More than he loves me? Less than he loves me? God, guys are so complicated)

LILY: Did you know I've also made some other changes to my life?

JAMES: Do they really, you know, taste like chocolate?

SIRIUS: Yeah, so good, I swear.

(Um, hello? What about me?)

JAMES: I had a chocolate flavoured chip once.

SIRIUS: I had an orange flavoured one.

JAMES: Well, I had a grass flavoured one.

SIRIUS: That's nothing. Once, I had a...

etc, etc, etc.

**Status of Lily: **Totally out of conversation. Deemed of less interest than chips. Great.

So I started writing in here.

B.O.R.E.D.

I think that in my current situation, I'm fully entitled to a chocolate pancake. I mean, it's not as if it's actual chocolate, really.

Going to get one,

Love,

Lily P.S. Oh my god. They so totally don't make dog-excretion flavoured chips.

* * *

**During Advanced History Of Magic, Wednesday, September 14th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Would just like to record that I am actually taking notes.

Love,

The Model Head Girl

* * *

**Lunch, Wednesday, September 14th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Ok, so scribbling JP 4 LE on my HoM notes wasn't exactly studying. But come on, I didn't do it _that_ many times. I did it once, just to, you know, get me through the torture of HoM, but then it looked out of space and I noticed this huge blank bit in the margin, right? So, obviously I had to do another one. And then, I don't know if you've noticed, but everything's _supposed _to come in threes, right? So I had to do another one, for tradition, yeah? And then, a bit later I started despairing at the sheer monotony of my notes, so I did another one. I'm still a bit new at this whole thing ok? So that's only five. But, come on, who puts five of anything? Everyone knows seven's a lucky number. It's not that many, really.

Oh crap. Supposed to give up James. Whoops.

But anyway, on the whole, it was a very successful history of magic lesson.

I bet Caroline has scribbled that like a million times all over her notes. She fully held his hand ALL THE WAY TO LUNCH. Honestly, can you say _clingy?_ Jesus. I mean, _hello_, girl, I haven't needed help with walking since I was three. I think she just has a little bit of development to get to before the reaches the level of having a boyfriend.

Anyway, I have decided that all moments in the past have been a transitional phase, and really don't think that any certain incidents that might've occurred need to be portrayed as _failures_, as such. More like...provoked accidents.

I mean, I'm still getting used to it. Walk before you can run, etc.

Lily

P.S. I hope she has a really crappy time getting that gum out of her hair.

* * *

**Best Chair in the Common Room, After Dinner, Wednesday, September 14th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Some people, they just shouldn't be allowed to socialize and implant their ideas in the brains of others. So we were in the common room, yeah? I situated myself favourably by the fire and the window and the fire, so I could:

a) Look wistfully out the window (girls in the movies always look so pretty when they do that)

b) Have the firelight dancing exquisitely on my face.

c) Not freeze to death. It's not even near winter yet! WHY is it so cold?

Wait, James is coming over to talk to me (I hope!!!!!!!)

Bye,

Lily

P.S. I'm writing this to look busy so I'm not waiting for him to talk to me (in case he was going somewhere else) but keep looking up and smiling at people to seem approachable.

* * *

**Dialogue of Conversation between Me and James**

JAMES: Hey, Lil. _(Isn't that just the cutest thing to say?)_

ME: Oh, James, I didn't notice you. _(Just as if I hadn't been spying on him for ever)_

JAMES: I've been wanted to talk to you all day but you seem to disappear within seconds whenever I've seen you. _(Ok, I was too scared to talk to him. While I realise that running away isn't working so well with the whole new-person plan, I think i burned lots of calories running down corridors to get away from him, so you know, there's an upside.)_

ME: Yes...um...I have to go...ok? _(Little white lies...never hurt anyone)_

JAMES: It'll only take a second, promise.

ME: Yes, but um, there's this thing, this really, really important...thing...

JAMES: One second, I swear.

ME: Look, if it's about Caroline's hair, then-

JAMES: Why? What happened to Caroline's hair? (_Shit! Nobody told him! That is so not cool!)_

ME: Um...did she streak it, because it looks really good. It looks more...bouncy. _(I can't believe bouncy was all I could think of either)_

JAMES: Bouncy?

ME: Yeah, you know...how sometimes hair has...bounce...

JAMES: I didn't notice, actually.

ME: Well, obviously not James, you're a guy. _(Oh yeah, nice save. Million points to Lily.)_

JAMES: Right, well what I actually wanted to talk to you about was your diary. You know how Sirius gave it to me and I-

ME: (Fake laugh) Oh, you didn't actually think that was my diary did you? _(This is where I had my brainwave)_

JAMES: Huh?

ME: Well it's not like I would write the TRUTH in there, I mean come on, my teacher's going to be reading it. I just made everything up.

JAMES: I thought she wasn't going to read them.

ME: She said that, but you can't believe what people say these days. You know, just like my diary, ha ha ha, it's all fake, ha ha ha, yeah... _(My fake laughing wasn't all that hot, but I think he bought it.)_

JAMES: Ok, but I just wanted to say-

ME: Yeah ok, James I still have that thing, you know, so, uh, bye.

And then I ran away. Actually, it was more of a power walk, but you know, whatever.

So anyway, now

1) James doesn't know I love him. (Finally something worked out the way I wanted it to)

2) He'll be looking especially close at Caroline's hair, which will hopefully be really bad. (thank you, Droobles Best Blowing Gum)

_Note To Self: Make hair look incredible tomorrow._

3) I can start over as the new, 20th century woman that I am, without worrying about James Potter knowing, or at least believing, my deepest thoughts and dreams.

Ok, Sirius and Nat still do, but I can work around that.

After I get revenge on them.

Am I allowed to get revenge?

Do self-actualized women of the 20th century get revenge? Or are they forgiving? I'll have to work on that one.

Love,

Lily

* * *

Hey! I did it! Wow! I updated! So anyways, I hope you all like it...and here's a list for all of you...because people's answers when I do stuff like this give me inspiration for the next chapter so I update quicker.

I only really had 4 questions though...

**Top 4 Questions**

**4) **Do self-actualized women of the 20th century get revenge??

**3)** What kind of revenge would be suitable?

**2) **Did James read the diary?

**1) **What happened when Lily was looking wistfully out the window?

Bye! Review! Please?


	10. Chapter 10

SORRY! But its so hard to think of something to write about. My god, its torture.

Ok so review replies take forever to write and to skim past for you until you get to the actual chapter. And I find myself having strange Pollyanna moments and saying 'glad' a lot. Besides, let's be realistic I don't update all that fast and if any of you can remember what you wrote in your reviews, wow. Just wow.

So this is the main points of my review replies, just as a general thing.

1. Thank you for reviewing, seriously, you make me feel guilty and I'm sorry I don't update sooner but I will try, as its holidays (and Christmas! Yay!) It can be like my New Year's Resolution. That's good, actually, I was trying to come up with a resolution for this year.

2. Yes, I copy from the Princess Diaries. The style anyway. I love those books, but they're kind of going downhill a bit. Everything does though, I guess. The second movie wasn't really worth the $10 either. Sorry to everyone I just offended. And the list idea came out of 'All-American Girl'. So I don't have a claim to that either.

3. Ok, I got only one review saying this (I think) but they said that Lily sounds more like an American than an English…person. (Do I say Englishwoman or what? What do I say here? Resident of England? I'm sure I'm missing something really obvious somewhere, sorry). I've heard that mentioned for other stories, and I kinda just wanted to say that I think that Americanisation is so big these days, and I haven't ever been to England but judging by the English TV shows, and the American TV shows, and literature and stuff, I think it's all kind of pretty much the same. I met some girls from England once, and they talked like I did (but with this awesome accent), but the same words and stuff. Lily (in my stories) talks just like I do (maybe with the exaggerated ditz), and I'm Australian, so that's closer to English than American, right? Thanks to the person who reviewed though, I think its an interesting thing to think about, how much difference there actually is between the languages. Although there is like masses of American slang I hear and it's just like 'What?' But anyway, sorry to anyone who thinks it's too Americanised.

4.Wow, everyone thinks she should get revenge, so I have to think of something now. Next chapter, I swear. I had like a rush of thought when I went to bed tonight and it was like _finally._ I suck at revenge, personally I spend so much time thinking about what I'm going to do and by the time I decide, the moment has passed.

5. I know how fast it is going, oh my god, and I'm going to try and space the diary entries out across more days to make it more realistic. Although is it just me, or do things happen in spurts? Like nothing will happen for months then all of a sudden it's like a chain reaction and everything happens _at once_. And then nothing happens again, and you hated the drama but you wish it would start again so you have something to think about?

I'm really sorry if this is turning into like a philosophy assignment or something. I'm sorry. Try to read between the rambling crap of what I'm saying and get the general message. Congrats for getting this far though.

6. Of course I watched the footy grand final, or I know I watched one and there were like a million. (This is _real_ football, by the way, rugby, not American football, and not soccer(for the English people). In the one I did watch, I was going for the Roosters, coz of the whole Bulldogs group rape thingy.

7. Again, thank you to everyone who's contributed to my ego, especially the ones who've stayed with me for ages, and I'm gonna cop out like people at award shows do and say you know who you are, coz I will forget someone.

8. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE, but especially the Northern Hemisphere because I don't know how you could survive a cold Christmas.

Chapter 10

**In The Most Perfect Spot for Philosophising Ever, the Shower, (Yes, The Water is Turned Off, Yes I'm Wearing Clothes, Yes It's The Only Place I Could Find Where People Are Unlikely To Unlock The Door, and Yes it's Inspirational When Spider-Free), Late, Thursday, September 15th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Got thrown out of three classes (not my fault) for flicking bits of paper at people which coincidently hit the teachers (not on purpose), and then not owning up when they asked who did it (maybe my fault), flicking paper at whoever told them it was me (probably my fault) and slamming the door (on purpose, and my fault). In conclusion, I had a lot of time to think today.

And I have come up with:

**Lily's Theorem:**

Let Lily 'a'

Let James 'b'

Let Love 'c'

**c ≠ a b**

I am so over the whole love thing. I thought I got butterflies in my stomach once but I discovered the next day that I actually had a stomach virus. I blame romance movies. And books. They stick these ideas in your head of what it's supposed to be like, and it's just not. Not for me anyway. How am I supposed to become independent when the Beatles are screaming that all I need is love? My god, and they said Hitler used propaganda. You can't turn around without being confronted by 'YOU MUST BE IN LOVE' in neon lights.

Thus, as is demonstrated in the formula above, it would appear that a2 b2 would equal c2, although on closer inspection it is not so. Social conditioning has made me feel that I love James.

Evolution and the need for the continuation of the race programmed me to want to reproduce with the best genes available (At Hogwarts, in 1977, these genes belong to James Potter), to ensure the greatest chance of the survival of my offspring and the continuation of my genes.

This was, as I said, pre-programmed into my brain, obviously, so I have only the monkeys to blame for that.

HOWEVER, popular culture is being held fully responsible for making me feel that I need to justify my evolutionary need to mate with James, with feelings like Love. This applies to James also, as Caroline is very good at Quidditch and ensures that his Quidditch-talent genes will live on . I mean, come on, he can't actually be in love with her. Trust me. I've read enough brainwashing books about love to know who can and cannot be fallen in love with.

So now, I am in this situation which has reduced me to paper ball flicking for entertainment. Somebody is to blame, and I have to say that I'm not really leaning towards the monkeys here. Monkeys are SO CUTE, by the way. Just in case, you know, when people in the future read this, monkeys have died out. They are SO CUTE. Except the whole banana thing is a bit weird. Maybe taste buds are just a human thing? Do you think monkeys eat pumpkins? I mean, they're not all that different to bananas. Same side of the colour wheel and all.

Anyway, this love junk. I need to realise that I don't actually love James, I just feel the instinctive need to reproduce masked by the unrealistic romantic expectations that the Beatles have brought upon me (I _know_, and you thought they could do no wrong).

Thus the obvious solution is to find and appropriate mating substitute, on which to bestow my affections, so my heart will get up to speed with my head and realise that I don't "love" James potter, anymore then I love indoor heating, as an instinct for survival. I can't believe I didn't see it before (Although I can believe that it's not butter, I've tasted it. Possibly they should aim their marketing towards monkeys.)

****

**Suitable Boyfriends**

**Requirements: **

Primitive Qualities (for the instinctive thing)

Alpha Male (See above)

Spider-Killers (Does it really need an explanation?)

Good-looking (I never pretended that I wasn't shallow- blame society for this also)

Sexy (Obviously has to ooze reproduction)

**_NOTE: _**_Do not actually intend to reproduce, just planning for the future and to get James Potter out of my head_

Likes Pumpkin (If he ever offered me some of his pumpkin everything would be ruined)

Basic Hygiene Knowledge (Must follow, not just be aware of facts)

Good Kisser (Just for fun)

My Age

Ok, so I figure that I'll observe the boys here over the next few days, and chose the winner. Like a competition, for a boyfriend. This cannot fail.

Night, World

Love,

Lily

**The Lunch Table, ****Friday, September 16th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

I have got the BEST pretend studying set-up here. I can see each candidate and look like I'm studying for my Astronomy test. Which I totally did already (sort of).

Ok, so basically I took all the boys in my year, crossed off any that had girlfriends, and James, and the other Marauders because I doubt they'd go for me after whole James thing.

So then I chose the best 5, which are:

_Kurt Heathcliff: Ravenclaw_

Very Musical, might write songs for me, seems a bit out of it sometimes, but mostly down to earth about everything. In my astronomy class, once wrote a song about the stars. Pretty Good.

_Adron__ Trethaline: Hufflepuff_

Coaches the First and Second Year kids in Quidditch, esp. Muggle-Borns. Not about to become a model but athletic. Pretty good at Quiditch, although I wouldn't know who to go for in Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor.

_Jourdian__ Walker: Ravenclaw_

Very smart, gets the best marks in written work. Good-looking, but tendency to be snobbish. Never know whether he likes you and is interested in what you are saying or is just being polite.

_Laedin__ Peterson: Gryffindor_

Ordinary guy. Pretty good-looking, sense of humour, issue and emotional baggage free. Nice friends, although they tend to like making perverted jokes when in groups. Gets on with James but doubt James would stop him from dating me. Likes Quidditch and boy stuff but doesn't obsess over it.

_Talano__ Taylor: Gryffindor_

Con: I'm not too sure about the name, maybe I can make a nickname. Tal or something. Had a total of three conversations with him throughout years at Hogwarts, all related to borrowing stationary. Sexy shoulders.

I'm not really sure which one I'm leaning towards, at the moment.

I'll think about it.

Love,

Lily

(Sorry, realised that I can't say love to a book or to the strangers reading the book anymore than I can to James)

**In Between Classes, The Broom Cupboard, ****Friday, September 16th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Ignore the boys above. Maquisha was talking about the hot boys from Beauxbatons. And then, it came to me.

The perfect relationship is the long distance relationship.

I would have a boyfriend, but I would never actually have to communicate with them. Where is the downside?

I should be a romantic advisor. I would make millions.

Lily  
...

hey, hope you liked it!

Merry Christmas and please review, I promise I'll try and update soon.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey, so I was at school, and me and my friend were saying about how we used to write these stories, and I said that I still got reviews for this one, even though I haven't updated it in forever, and she said I should finish it, and I said I would. Except I went back and read it coz I couldn't even remember the plot-line and I realised this is written in this style of writing that I'm not sure I can remember how to do anymore.

So anyway, I'm making this chapter really short, firstly to remember how to write this story, and secondly because I'm actually quite busy this weekend.

I want to say thank you to everyone who ever reviewed this story, and I realise that you must have pretty much all lost hope of an update by now, so I hope this is a nice surprise.

I vaguely remember having half a timetable worked out for Lily so that I didn't change what classes she had when, but I can't remember it at all, so hopefully I don't screw this up totally.

**Chapter 11**

**History of Magic, Friday, September 16th, 1977**

**Top 10 Reasons Why I Like James Potter**

**10.** The way I feel about him – always really happy and like nothing else matters.

**9.** How if there's some horrible situation, he fixes it without being asked (pumpkin juice placed too close to me on the table i.e. within eyesight)

**8.** I like how I never have to fake laugh around him, like that laugh when somebody says something that is supposed to be funny, but isn't, and you are obligated to laugh. Having said that, since I realised I loved him, my laughter has been kind of retarded around him, sometimes descending into some sort of high-pitched-vaguely-giggle-resembling sound.

**7.** When we're together, I lose track of time.

**6.** He's a good hugger. Everybody knows how important that is.

**5.** He does not try to have better fashion sense than me. Not that anyone could, but I've had guys try and it was not a happy ending. (For them)

**4. **He can be annoyingly teasing sometime (ABOUT EVERYTHING), but he knows when it's important and when to shut up. Obviously except when he was asking me out or whatever. God I hated that. And I would give anything to hear it again

**3.** He has a nice nose. It's very well-shaped.

**2. **Actually his whole face is pretty well-proportioned. Without being, you know, plastic.

**1. **He's James. All the time.

Ok, now I have that out of my system. Must now go and plan how to meet cute boy in another country and convince him to start a committed relationship within the next few hours without having to leave Hogwarts.

Lily

**On My Bed Trying To Hide Book From Roommates So They Don't Ask What I'm Writing, Friday, September 16th, 1977**

WOULD MAKING UP A BOYFRIEND BE PATHETIC?

Pros

- Could be as good-looking as I liked

- Readily Available

- Could be absolutely perfect so as to outdo all other boyfriends.

- Could buy myself stuff with excuse of having to keep up charade of boyfriend buying me stuff. GOODBYE FEELING GUILTY OVER EXPENSIVE HANDBAGS!

Cons

- Someone could find out

- Would have to make up a background story - NEED TO WORK ON LYING SKILLS

- Couldn't outdo Caroline's boyfriend…bitch.

- I am going to be so poor

Interesting.

I will have to consider both sides carefully.

This is such a better use of my time than studying for test on Monday, THIS IS MY MENTAL HEALTH AT STAKE.

Yours Ponderingly,

Lily.

**Breakfast Table, Saturday, September 16th, 1977**

Dear Diary,

Oh My God. OH. MY. GOD. Massive News. Huge. HUGE!

James broke up with Caroline.

James. Broke. Up. With. Caroline.

_JAMES_ BROKE UP WITH _CAROLINE_

JAMES BROKE UP WITH CAROLINE!

Oh, damn. I'm supposed to be over love.

Do you think he read what was in the diary and he believed it? MAYBE HE LIKES ME AGAIN!

Calm down. I can't get too excited. James doesn't want somebody who's desperate, obviously. I mean, for how long did he like me when I refused him? YEARS! I need to play hard-to-get, clearly.

Hey…so that's done.

I told you it would be short, it's just like…get ready for an actual chapter within the next week or so.

So, if you wanted to review so I could see if anyone's still reading this, or if I just wasted half an hour.

Love,

Tori

P.S. I'm not going to finish the story within the next few chapters or so. They can't just magically work everything out. I'm sorry for using the word magically there, it's not supposed to be a ridiculously lame joke, it just fit.


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